Author Topic: Current Emotions?  (Read 12416 times)

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Offline Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #200 on: August 17, 2012, 08:52:34 pm »
Praying for depression. I can't sleep. I don't eat very much and my moods fluctuate too much. It's inevitable, but I can't wait much longer.
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
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Offline Tsmuktengan

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #201 on: August 18, 2012, 04:50:50 am »
is hungry an emotion?


It is rather more a feeling. You would say in that situation that you are stalled (not sure how to write this in Na'vi).


Offline Txur Niftxavang

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #202 on: August 18, 2012, 04:23:18 pm »
I finally went too see the MO on base, and... The phychiatrist there labeled me as Adjustment Disorder. I'm suffering from long term depression, and anxiety.   DSM-IV.    It's been a week since my last drink.    I still feel empty.
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Offline Alyara Arati

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #203 on: August 18, 2012, 05:35:17 pm »
I finally went too see the MO on base, and... The phychiatrist there labeled me as Adjustment Disorder. I'm suffering from long term depression, and anxiety.   DSM-IV.    It's been a week since my last drink.    I still feel empty.

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Offline Seze Mune

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #204 on: August 18, 2012, 08:05:42 pm »
↑ That is my favorite Deva Premal.  I could listen to this for hours.

Offline Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #205 on: August 19, 2012, 02:01:59 am »
I'm still torn and I feel like I'm dying. I can't live like this anymore. I need some way to feel like I can do something with my feelings other than never making them come out. I feel trapped in a box and I can't get out, and when I am let out, I'm showered with light and happiness and it doesn't leave much of an imprint on my heart. I feel so lost in my own thoughts, I'm driven to tears as I realize that I've no control over myself and my emotions are a mess. The only way that I can feel happy, and happy alone is if I can't think. I'm losing my god damn mind because I can't sleep. I close my eyes... Nothing. 5:30am rolls right round and I sleep till 1:30 pm or so. Melatonin pills give me nightmares and I am terrified of what I can't explain. I regain consciousness after dazing into my own snapping psyche with such bad shakes that my water bottle is shaking, 5 feet away from me. I've not told my family because I don't know what to say. My mom'll take me to therapy again, I'll not like it, and I'll go to school knowing that I am clinically a lunatic. That's one of the reasons why I was depressed last year, along with bullying. And my parents' escapade in 7th grade (the incident, I call it). I now realize how much I need my brother, who I resent for everything that he stands for. I've lost 3 of my best friends to my depression and there's nothing that I can say or do to make them my friends again. The cutting that used to happen every day doesn't do jack s*** anymore and I don't dream, I have lucid nightmares. I constantly think of inconspicuous ways to off myself in my sleep. I know that all of you love me (hope, really) and want me to not die. I don't even want to die. I just want to not live this way anymore. With manic depression. I don't need or want this. Yes, the mania brings intense bursts of creativity, but the depression is so f*** crushing that I- I just need some way to forget all of it. I need something, someone, somewhere, some way to not want another mind/state of being. I'm not happy with myself, but I don't want to do anything about it because all the bullies would have won. I need to stay the way that I am because that is who I'm destined to be. I don't understand myself anymore. Each and every day it gets worse. I lose more and more touch with sanity and I don't need it anymore. Try fixing it? No frickin way. You think I haven't tried? Oh, yeah. I like going mad. Yep. Loving it already. :'(
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
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Offline Txantslusam Skxawng

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #206 on: August 30, 2012, 10:40:20 am »
Happy
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Offline Tìtstewan

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #207 on: August 30, 2012, 11:17:57 am »
I feel kind of tired.

(I have to write for the next time reports, because my profession. ...this is ruining my evening. :()

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Offline Tsmuktengan

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #208 on: September 01, 2012, 12:21:16 pm »
I am a bit tired. Mixed feeling, I have the feeling I haven't got the time to do everything I would want to.


Offline Txantslusam Skxawng

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #209 on: September 01, 2012, 04:09:09 pm »
Tired, my eyes feel tired
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Offline Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #210 on: September 02, 2012, 08:34:10 pm »
Just sent this to Oshae.

And, I'm sorry. I really do love you. I just don't have any other way to deal with it. I just can't find a way to hold the feeling of loving you strong enough to overcome the depression. It hurts and I regret it so much; I know that you would move mountains to make me happy, and I would do the same for you. But, this is different. I- I just can't keep myself at a stable state. Just like the moment that I would see you: I would tackle you to the ground, sit you up and kiss you like it was my last 5 minutes of my life. I don't care who sees; be it a child, your mom, my brother, the school principal, whatever. I don't care. I love you too f*cking much to let you go like I had to with Vicky and Shelby and Cici... I just love you too much. They made me happy, but you give me ecstasy. They gave me something to look at, you give me purpose. I really am sorry for cutting. I really am. I hate myself for it and the only thing left in me is you. The only reason to live is you. The scars are a reminder that all I have left is a loose held dream that says you think that I can be a person. I believe you, but I can't lie to myself and say that I love me, because I don't. I know that you love me and you care more than I can ever know, but I hate myself; no one else. I just feel like giving up, just fading away with you in my arms. You at least act like you're strong, whereas I don't. I don't even resist cutting. Sometimes, I eat. Sometimes, I feel like I can muster up the will that's come to pass and do something with myself. I just feel weak and spent. You in my arms would be, I think, the ultimate recharge of strength for both of us, really. But how will we get there? I am crying because I think of you and I feel like I am falling with you; the world disappears as we melt into each other. I am crying because my emotions are cloudy; because my eyes hurt; because there's no way to control this cycle of happiness and sadness. I dream of coming into your house, screaming at your mother saying, "HOW F*CKING DARE YOU?! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, HUH?! WHO?!?!" and running upstairs, finding you crying on your bed, picking you up, blasting through the roof and into an impossibility called, "Paradise". Just us, we live forever in peace and happiness. That's what my story's about. That's why I wrote it. Because I know that one day, it would come true. One day... And it has. The only way that we can change it is if we don't let it come completely true. We change a thing or 2 and I don't kill myself, we'll have our own story: just us. The cuts get deeper each time I can't control it: the urge to break out of my skin and start anew. The need to be with you; part of you. I can't express to you how hopeless that I feel, how powerless that I've become. That's why I need you so much. There's a hole inside: it's feeling 10 miles wide. Good night and I hope to see you soon. I love- need you.

Thanks for not letting me die yet,
-Drake
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
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Offline Na'vin Nos'feratxu

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #211 on: September 03, 2012, 12:33:36 am »
Current Emotions? .....

OW!!! This F***ING HURTS

    
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Offline Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #212 on: September 12, 2012, 03:40:04 pm »
I'm sick, but I'm in love. Period. The end.

This is my girlfriend, Oshae.
« Last Edit: September 29, 2012, 01:01:44 pm by Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpxìkap'itan »
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
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Offline Irtaviš Ačankif

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #213 on: September 12, 2012, 11:17:59 pm »
I'm sick, but I'm in love. Period. The end.
fìtì'efu alu tìyawn, 'u a fraporu nerew lu lu ngäzìka krrmì.
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Offline Eana Unil

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #214 on: September 20, 2012, 11:09:13 am »
Feeling like crap, guess I caught a cold or flue or whatever. *whine*

Offline Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #215 on: September 29, 2012, 11:59:14 am »
I'm a-sick.

Hungry. So, FOOD ;D ;D
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Offline Txur Niftxavang

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #216 on: September 30, 2012, 02:27:43 am »
Mentally worn out, and physically...  Just tired.
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Offline Tìtstewan

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #217 on: October 01, 2012, 04:55:24 pm »
I don't feel good because I have built a heavy failure with my fan fiction... :(

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Offline Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #218 on: October 01, 2012, 05:46:01 pm »
What happened? :(
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
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Offline Tìtstewan

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Re: Current Emotions?
« Reply #219 on: October 02, 2012, 12:00:35 am »
What happened? :(
I have sent my fan fiction to the correction reader on Sunday .
Then I got a notice that in the story seems to missing something.
It lacks a complete page of text...

To one correction reader I had to sent a newer version of the fan fiction and I don't know how far he is been with the correction of the old version.
(The correction of the old version was for nothing...) :( :(

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