Main Menu

Current Emotions?

Started by Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan, March 25, 2012, 09:00:05 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

Yes. I have. Let me tell you what I've found: my mother has serotonin imbalances and needs to take Fluoxetine to regulate it (sort of). Also, she has insomnia and chronic mild depression. I don't know about my father, only because if there is something wrong, it's very pent up. In short, my brain is, "pretty screwed up" according to my mom's doctor. Thank you for that, Niri Te. Thank you.
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Txur Niftxavang

Yeah, me too.   I remember back on deployment. I was on post, and I put my M16 barrel in my mouth, well.  I heard footsteps, and it was Doc. (Navy Corpsman) He uhh,  He... Well f*** now I can't remember...   


I leave for PTA tomorrow at 0130hours.   I hate training ops... Especially Lava Viper...
PSN: AVATAR_052191


If anyone has a question about firearms training/ Bow training leave a message, a voicemail on my phone, or text.
State your name, and if you are one of the people.

Irtaviš Ačankif

Quote from: Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpxìkap'itan on April 25, 2012, 09:07:15 PM
Yes. I have. Let me tell you what I've found: my mother has serotonin imbalances and needs to take Fluoxetine to regulate it (sort of). Also, she has insomnia and chronic mild depression. I don't know about my father, only because if there is something wrong, it's very pent up. In short, my brain is, "pretty screwed up" according to my mom's doctor. Thank you for that, Niri Te. Thank you.
So it's a hardware problem, not a software one? That actually seems cool to me, and it really isn't bad. There might be some sort of super brain power you haven't discovered - weird brains usually do (like the ability to remember every meal for a year)
Previously Ithisa Kīranem, Uniltìrantokx te Skxawng.

Name from my Sakaš conlang, from Sakasul Ältäbisäl Acarankïp

"First name" is Ačankif, not Eltabiš! In Na'vi, Atsankip.

Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

Well yeah, but a lot of it has to do with emotional scarring (i.e all my other posts). Just read them all. Try to picture yourself in my shoes.

Ps. : What happened in the chorus and bridge of my song actually happened. Plus, I held a knife to my throat last sunday.
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Na'vin Nos'feratxu

There are a lot of people here who care about you guys, including myself.
Shooting them down for trying to help you is stupid! Would you rather no one cared about what you do or how you feel?
Would you rather everyone just ignore you?

Well, to Bad. We care and we do listen, so stop pushing us away.

I will say this, an I hold this to heart. Only a coward kills himself/herself.
I absolutely DESPISE cowards. From what I can tell you still want to live, just something to live for...
Stop trying to live for just yourself, and live for others. Help someone, give someone something, instead of worrying about you you you... Worry about them, we and us.

Life is crap, thats a fact! But we choose how it affects us. You can let stuff bother you day in day out and it WILL drive you crazy.
Or you can scoff at everyones attempts to bring you down, you can ignore the little things that bother you.

Many of us have dealt with this, and still do. Including myself, but luckily there are people here who bring me out of my funk.
Seze has helped me many times, just talking to someone helps a lot.

I keep going every day, because I seek to be strong and my ego wont allow anything less.
The stronger you become, the less people and problems bother you.
It's all your choice, so start making some choices.

We are here for you, and don't deny us that.  :D

   
NotW#82

Irtaviš Ačankif

Quote from: Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpxìkap'itan on April 26, 2012, 05:53:26 AM
Well yeah, but a lot of it has to do with emotional scarring (i.e all my other posts). Just read them all. Try to picture yourself in my shoes.

Ps. : What happened in the chorus and bridge of my song actually happened. Plus, I held a knife to my throat last sunday.
Yeah, I know that there's an emotional part too. But a differently wired brain really does produce different stuff. I probably have a weirdly wired brain too...which does result in "bizarre" emotions. Please don't think that I can't sympathize you though. The first time I was subjected to this kind of emotional stress, bad things happened to me too.
Whether God exists or not, it is always best to keep your life  ;) That said, I do understand your emotions because I've been through similar experiences, and this is how I dealt with it.
Previously Ithisa Kīranem, Uniltìrantokx te Skxawng.

Name from my Sakaš conlang, from Sakasul Ältäbisäl Acarankïp

"First name" is Ačankif, not Eltabiš! In Na'vi, Atsankip.

Txur Niftxavang

#66
This is my goodbye
But please don't try to stop me
I don't exist, I can't be you
Each day is a new failure
Every trial is permissive
Every step I gain I only fall back faster
This is my goodbye
But please don't try to stop me
There is nothing left
It's over, please lay me to rest
Forgive mDe, let me go
It's my choice so please lay me to rest
Forgive me, let me go
I have no mercy
This place is overwhelming
Once again I could last
I see no way to be free
I search for the answers
Is there no solution?
I realize my reflection
My reflection is the demon
It's my blasphemy hoping not to waste each day
It's a nightmare, sleep in freedom
You gave but it was not enough...        

Thats what I feel like.
PSN: AVATAR_052191


If anyone has a question about firearms training/ Bow training leave a message, a voicemail on my phone, or text.
State your name, and if you are one of the people.

Seze Mune

Quote from: Uniltìrantokx te Skxawng on April 26, 2012, 02:14:43 AM
Quote from: Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpxìkap'itan on April 25, 2012, 09:07:15 PM
Yes. I have. Let me tell you what I've found: my mother has serotonin imbalances and needs to take Fluoxetine to regulate it (sort of). Also, she has insomnia and chronic mild depression. I don't know about my father, only because if there is something wrong, it's very pent up. In short, my brain is, "pretty screwed up" according to my mom's doctor. Thank you for that, Niri Te. Thank you.
So it's a hardware problem, not a software one? That actually seems cool to me, and it really isn't bad. There might be some sort of super brain power you haven't discovered - weird brains usually do (like the ability to remember every meal for a year)

Software glitches can cause hardware problems.  That is often the case with high blood pressure, high cholesterol and all kinds of cardiomyopathies, etc.  Mind and body are inextricably linked until death, and after that who knows what happens? University of California - Irvine, Health Education Center

For the vast percentage of the population: You can choose what you believe about anything.  What you believe will give an emotional valence to any experience you have.  The emotional valence will have a direct impact on the physical body.  The status of the physical body is evaluated by the mind in accordance with what it believes and there you have the complete circuit.

Through the medium of your emotional status, events in the environment can affect your physical body positively or negatively.  I recently read about a study of the effect of early childhood violence on a child's DNA: it shortened the telomeres on the distal end of the chromosomes.  This leads to premature cellular aging among other effects on the body.  So yes, software can cause hardware complications.

There are few cases where this does not apply, such as when one has been severely damaged in utero by drugs or parasites like Toxoplasma gondii.  I don't believe this will pertain to anyone who can navigate Learn Na'vi.

When you stand at the center of your own life and you look around you, it can look like most everyone else has a better life than you.  It can look like no one else has experienced your trauma, your darkness, your personal scars.  When you come to know people better, and they reach out to you and trust you, you will begin to learn that there is NO ONE who hasn't been scarred.  NO ONE, I don't care WHO they are, or how much status or money or privileges they have, has a life that is without wounds.  When you drill down, every single person you meet will have their own deep dark secrets, and pain which is soul-deep.

I do not say this to minimize what you are going through.  We ALL go through some version of unimaginable pain...and we find out - if we hang on long enough - that there IS a light at the end of that dark black tunnel and it is NOT another train coming at you!

Whatever it takes, find the help you need to keep opening your eyes every morning.  The end of life is guaranteed.  We will all be there soon enough.  No one really knows what death is, so there is no guarantee if you step through that doorway prematurely, that you will find the release you *hope* awaits you...and no, I am not talking about heaven or hell or nirvana or any kind of religious thing.  There are no guarantees in life OR in death, so the best thing to do is to find people who care, people you can trust and reach out to, and then hold on and keep putting one foot in front of the other one.  As I said, there are no guarantees.....except one: everything changes.  You will NOT be where you are now, forever.  Your life will always change the way a river is never the same from moment to moment...but unlike a river, in large part the direction is up to you.

Irtaviš Ačankif

I agree with Seze here. Emotional problems can create physical effects, since emotions happen in the brain, especially regarding neurotransmitter imbalance. However, if it's something that's there when you were born, it is better to take advantage of it instead of battling unreasonable emotions. Since you mentioned your mom and dad, I suppose it's genetic? So the hardware problem is causing the software to crash, not the buggy software damaging the hardware? In this case I'll recommend that you change your software to something that doesn't invoke the hardware bug - think of emotion and life in a different way that fits the method your brain works.
Previously Ithisa Kīranem, Uniltìrantokx te Skxawng.

Name from my Sakaš conlang, from Sakasul Ältäbisäl Acarankïp

"First name" is Ačankif, not Eltabiš! In Na'vi, Atsankip.

Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

I don't know what to say oth- *sigh* I'm sorry. :'(

That leads me to my next thing: extreme, overwhelming sadness with anger and regret. I feel like utter and total s***. Rundown. Emotionally and physically exhausted. *sigh*  :'(

Crying, can't really see what I'm doing, can't really separate my emotions; cloudy is the word.

Surrounded; I don't care if you do, just know that that is what I feel.

Why? I've been told that I am a waste of time; an idiotic, gay, emo b**** by the one person that I completely knew, cared about, and loved.

She abandoned me and it feels like I'm going to explode. She helped me in my depression and I through hers.

That's one less person. One less.
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Na'vin Nos'feratxu

I see. Oel kameie.

When those whom we care and have cared about turn on you, pain is over whelming.
Sorry Takmeyalan, I know how you feel.

Out of all things in the world, no pain is greater than the pain caused by someone you once loved, trusted and cared for.
There is no greater pain than what people give you.

I hope you can work past it, and move on.  I did it when I thought I couldn't. I didn't want to but i still kept going.
The only way to make the pain go away, is to get away from that person. Just get away from her Takmeyalan.


   
NotW#82

Irtaviš Ačankif

Previously Ithisa Kīranem, Uniltìrantokx te Skxawng.

Name from my Sakaš conlang, from Sakasul Ältäbisäl Acarankïp

"First name" is Ačankif, not Eltabiš! In Na'vi, Atsankip.

Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

Thank you, Na'vin. But it's even more sad that she called me last night. After I posted that, she...

Told me to kill myself. "Like, SERIOUSLY".

I didn't, but man, did she want me to. Or, that's how she made it seem.

So, that's it. Same emotion as yesterday, same feeling...

Chugging through the nearly frozen molasses.
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Irtaviš Ačankif

Quote from: Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpxìkap'itan on May 02, 2012, 06:01:53 AM
Told me to kill myself. "Like, SERIOUSLY".
Well that's keftxo nìtxan nang! I feel really bad that she could actually say that. Really, if you did kill yourself she could go to prison...
Previously Ithisa Kīranem, Uniltìrantokx te Skxawng.

Name from my Sakaš conlang, from Sakasul Ältäbisäl Acarankïp

"First name" is Ačankif, not Eltabiš! In Na'vi, Atsankip.

Na'vin Nos'feratxu

Why did you even answer the phone?

Stop talking to her! Draw the line!
Don't let some stupid person talk down to you and make you feel bad.

Don't answer her calls, block her number, avoid her, whatever it takes.
Her life must suck and she is trying to bring you down with her. You are above that, so act like it!

Would be great to see her skate off into a lake, a beautiful fate... I hope nobody is at her wake.

Stop talking to her, and don't say you can't.. because you can!

   
NotW#82

Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpìkxap'itan

I am ignoring her, but

WHY DOES IT HURT SO BAD?!?! :'( :'( :'(

I mean, DAMN... I've left people before, but.... WOW, this hurts.

Like, physically, too. Why? Why does it feel like I'm being slowly torn apart emotionally? Why does it feel like I've been punched in the chest several times? ......Why? :'(
Pure white would be disturbing. :)
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.

Irtaviš Ačankif

Quote from: Takmeyalan te Tsu'erak 'Ewfwefpxìkap'itan on May 02, 2012, 03:52:44 PM
I am ignoring her, but

WHY DOES IT HURT SO BAD?!?! :'( :'( :'(

I mean, DAMN... I've left people before, but.... WOW, this hurts.

Like, physically, too. Why? Why does it feel like I'm being slowly torn apart emotionally? Why does it feel like I've been punched in the chest several times? ......Why? :'(
Well, I'm not a psychologist, but I think there are a few reasons:

1. She used to have a great relationship with you
2. Since you're just 13, you don't want your friends to know you have a "girlfriend"; thus you don't talk about it and it gets worse
3. For some reason, she just hates you now
Previously Ithisa Kīranem, Uniltìrantokx te Skxawng.

Name from my Sakaš conlang, from Sakasul Ältäbisäl Acarankïp

"First name" is Ačankif, not Eltabiš! In Na'vi, Atsankip.

Na'vin Nos'feratxu

Depression can manifest itself physically. Your state of mind can affect how you feel completely.

Laughing will help you, doing something you love will help you.
You need to change your state of mind, do things that feel good to you.

Get on youtube and find funny videos, something to make you laugh.

   
NotW#82

Seze Mune

That sounds like a really good idea, ma Na'vin.  People have actually cured themselves of very serious diseases just by doing that (although YouTube wasn't available at the time).  Norman Cousins' Anatomy of an Illness comes to mind.

Niri Te

 On a happier note, oeyä lora muntate sì oe are celebrating our 19th anniversary today. While we will spend part of today taking care "Business of living", we will enjoy a meal at a fine Japanese Restaurant before coming home. Being happy and content in life IS attainable.
Niri Te
Tokx alu tawtute, Tirea Le Na'vi