How to Annoy General Miles Quaritch

[Tsuksìm atsawl (KaPTan)]

staple a tail to his txìm

[guest6785]

booby trap his room full of pop teen music that would make people go crazy!

[Niwantaw]

Shoot him in the foot with a 9mm pistol. It won't kill him and he'll be limping for the rest of his life... which will seriously annoy him

[Rain]

Consult a magic 8 ball every time he asks a question.

[Tsuksìm atsawl (KaPTan)]

switch out all of his cloths with KP! stuff

[Eyamsiyu]

Go to where he keeps his underwear and switch out everything for Victoria's Secret thongs.

[archaic]

Take the firing pin out of his revolver.
Get nantang to pee on his amp suit's leg.
Put a sign on the back of his amp suite saying "I break for cyoot ikle fluffy fings."
Get him a subscription to Kaltxi magazine.
Swap blue dye into the sprayers when he goes to the tanning salon.
Tell him those scars on his face really suit him, as they accentuate his cheek bones.
Nominate him for Na'vi of the week.

[Rain]

Actually elect him Na'vi of the week
Fill a bookshelf in his office with cheesy romance novels
Set his desktop to a scene from Titanic, preferably a particularly mushy love scene
Call his mother and tell her he's not being nice to the other kids

[Ekirä]

Hack into his Facebook account and post "I kissed a Na'vi and loved it!"

(EDIT: Just thought up more )

Make a mock of an Olo'eyktan outfit and offer it to him the next time he's at a meeting. Tell him formally that the Na'vi think he would make an excellent leader as long as he wears the appropriate dress of an Olo'eyktan.

Leave a box in his office that says "Urgent". Put something that stings inside it.

Next time you see him, scream "My little ducky-poo!" and give him a big hug.


Put a male and female mouse in his bedroom walls. Watch as his irritation increases daily as the mice do the same.

[Tsamsiyu92]

Plltxe poru nìna'vi nì'aw.

['Oma Tirea]

Plltxe poru nìna'vi nì'aw.

Uuuuuu, txantsan.  Pelun ayoe ke ngamop säfpìl?

[guest6785]

Plltxe poru nìna'vi nì'aw.

urr... translation?

[Tsamsiyu92]

Plltxe poru nìna'vi nì'aw.

urr... translation?

Speak to him in na'vi only.

[Col Quaritch]

By the way thanks for the promotion.

[Ekirä]

Next time he's talking to you, suddenly interrupt him and say that you want to be home for dinner.

On his birthday, give him a Kaltxì Palulukan! cake with pink icing. On his card, make sure to get his age wrong, at least 10 years older than he is.

[Lolet]

Give him orthopedic shoes, and tell him you know his bunions have been acting up.

[Eanikran]

when you're talking to him, after every single statement you make, say 'respect that fact' 

[Eyamsiyu]

Ask "pelun?" after every sentence.

[Ekirä]

When he says something against the Na'vi, say "Ah, ah, ah, remember, if you want to survive, you've got to cultivate a strong mental attitude!"

[Eanikran]

every time he eats or drinks something, say 'it contains (ingredient) that will (side effect) in one minute.'