Make a Wish, Make it Useless!!!!

[Toliman]

Benevolent alien species really visit us with not hostile intention but sadly mankind will be not able to resist alien diseases.


I wish there would be enough money for realisation of all intended space exploration projects.

[archaic]

There is! A truly massive amount money is made available, all intended space exploration projects are realized, even the fringe and extremely flaky ones. Unfortunately, there aren't sufficient top level scientists to go round, resuling in some sloppy science, poor quality analysis, and colossal amounts of data being left unexamined.




I wish there was a cure for malaria.

[Toliman]

Okay, there will be cure for malaria which will be very efficient... but sadly in next years new, even more deadly form of malaria will appear and this new form will be fatal.


I wish earthquakes would be well predictable.

[archaic]

You magically gain the ability to predict earthquake, but you are at the bottom of a well, which is deep, and no one can hear you. Plus there is no cell reception either.



I wish followers of bad politicians could see them for what they really are.

[Toliman]

Okay, they can see it... but for us it will have not positive impact, because politics is full of bad people.


I wish weather in my country would be better predictable.

[archaic]

It now rains continually in your country, twenty four seven, and always will.




I wish all politicians were better people.

[Toliman]

Okay, they will be better people than now but they still will be far less good people then another people are.


I wish total solar eclipses would be not such rare.

[archaic]

I speed up the moon, it now travels at zero point one kilometers an hour faster, therefore making the time between total eclipses shorter, but sadly not by much.




I wish human beings behaved more responsibly.

[Toliman]

Okay, all people will be more responsible than they are now... but still some people will be less responsible than others so there still will be reason to complain.


I wish there would be more super bright nebulae (like as Orion Nebula) on our night sky.

[archaic]

Your wish is granted, but now the whole night sky is lit up like day, so there is no real night at all. This has a devastating effect on wildlife, and the manufacturers of light bulbs and flashlights go out of business. Plus astronomers can see nothing due to the dazzle.



I wish for weekends to feel slightly longer, and more satisfying.

[Toliman]

Okay, it will be... but after some time it become a bit boring.


I wish life would be less stressfull sometimes.

[archaic]

You are involved in a freak accident involving a large radio satellite antenna, three custard pies and an Klingon Elvis impersonator. You are left in a persistent coma, and even the most advanced and sensitive equipment shows no neural activity. You experience absolutely nothing at all form that moment onwards.




I wish there was a way to make locust swarms go back to being peaceful and innocuous grasshoppers.

[Toliman]

Okay they will be peaceful and innocuous grasshoppers again. But it surprisingly will disrupt ballance in nature because meanwhile you made your wishes, there was established new ballance of life.


I wish I would be more farsighted.

[archaic]

You have laser eye treatment, and you now need reading glasses.



I wish I everyone was better at thinking outside the box.

[Toliman]

Okay everyone really will be... but everyone will be thinking outside the box such intensively that you will deeply regret this your wish.


I wish more bright comets would be more often visible on our night sky.

[archaic]

Now there are, unfortunately, there are now so many that the computers that track near Earth objects and track their paths to see if they cross paths with Earth are unable to handle the amount of data and crash, leaving mankind to it's fate, unprepared.



I wish smart devices were better at resisting hacking, and malware attacks.

[Toliman]

Then all smart devices really vill be more resistable, their protection will be as good as is possible... but it also mean that there will be impossible for responsible people take control over them, unfortunatelly exactly in time when it will be absolutelly neccessary.


I wish Avatar 2 would be finally released.

[archaic]

It is, however it is only 56 seconds of footage, with no special effects and no CGI.




I wish President Trump had endorsed wearing face masks three months earlier.

[Toliman]

Okay, he really did it but instead it he will do something another stupid...


I wish there would be more great movies as Avatar is.

[Kxanay]

Granted, but now they're the only movies you can watch.

I wish I had a USB stick to back up my Encrypted Container for Utopia on.