Nothing has a meening anymore..

Started by Kxani, February 09, 2010, 12:20:27 PM

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Kxani

Lost my apartment (since i lived with him) and my boyfriend today (who I've been together with for 4 years). I am forced to live at my job (the firm that I own) a funeral home in sweden and I have no motivation for such small things as peeing and breathing. Mom died not the 21st of november (the only one that I really felth safe with) and I really have no one. I know that I am a nice person who only cares about people. Can anyone tell me why bad things happends to good people...?

Eyamsiyu

I would in depth, but it involves my religion.

All I can say is this: stay strong.  Those with good hearts that get through the struggles of life will be stronger in heart in the end.  Just keep pushing through it.

It sounds somewhat cliche, but "the night is always darkest before the dawn."  Life sucks now, but persevere, and you'll be in a better spot.


"... The only people that are going to have a chance to make a living playing music is the people who do exactly what they believe in ... they have to believe in this so much that they are ready to die for it." - Jojo Mayer

On indefinite leave.  Will be back periodically. Feel free to say Kaltxí: I'll get back when I can. :D

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Kxani

The problem is that some creatures only survive at night and osme at dawn.. i need dawn to survive but for me, night is eternal... - bad metaphore but still.

Nìwotxkrr Tìyawn

I guess the question really is, why do cocky/arrogant people get all the good stuff? I think it's because of the positive outlook they have about themselves. To make positive things happen, you have to be positive.
Naruto Shippuden Episode 166: Confession
                                    Watch it, Love it, Live it

Txur’Itan

Quote from: Kxani Tsaheylu on February 09, 2010, 12:20:27 PM
Lost my apartment (since i lived with him) and my boyfriend today (who I've been together with for 4 years). I am forced to live at my job (the firm that I own) a funeral home in sweden and I have no motivation for such small things as peeing and breathing. Mom died not the 21st of november (the only one that I really felth safe with) and I really have no one. I know that I am a nice person who only cares about people. Can anyone tell me why bad things happends to good people...?

You should know that your situation is temporary.  Through living your life, meeting with compassionate friends, entertaining yourself with a good story, or simple hobby; you can and will get past the pain, and the hurt, and you will find it fading over time. 

No matter how much it makes you want to stop breathing, or stop eating, or stop drinking, so much loss in a short period of time a chain that holds you to the floor will become lighter, be assured, you can lift it, and eventually put it away. 

I imagine that you would want to find a place where you can be indoors, but have the sun come in.  Focus on the good that is in your life.  You have a Job, your health, you have a long and potentially prosperous life ahead of you.  Even if you loose these things, feel the sunlight, listen to bird songs, breathe the cool air.  It is kind of cold there in the mountains, are you closer to Stockholm?

The beach may be empty this time of year, but during the afternoon, listening to the call of the sea, the song of the ocean, it can be healing.  Can you take some time off, then get to the coast from where you are?  Go for a day, then come back to your life, and get yourself a new place to live.

-- Spill the sadness upon the floor, and let it lay there forever more.  Hope and happiness waits for you, and at future time you will know it's true, you do have the will to pull yourself through.
私は太った男だ。


Kxani

You don't understand. I donät even have a family. i have no one really, some friends but what can they do..??

Swizaw Nguway

Well, all I can say is you will push through it. At one stage in my life I had no reason to live. I was in serious depression for months. Then things started looking up. So just chin up and you will be fine in the long run. Oh and also, true friends will stick by you no matter what. If they dont, then they arn't your friends.

Kaltxì Palulukan!

#7
If I may weigh in on this...

I completely understand where you are. My father died few years back. This was right after I lost everything.

First 9/11 killed my candle manufacturing business. retailers panicked and stopped buying. I had two part-time employees. We were so small of a company that I could not afford months without orders. So I closed up shop, started painting addresses on curbs for houses, by donation. It didn't pay very well, and it was humiliating, but I was able to move in with some good friends who were dating. One month later "we" (ayoeng friends) found out one of them was was slamming enough heroin to kill an elephant. I lost her, and my other friend, and my place to live. I had to move into a rental car--for 2 years. It was just supposed to be a month--really. That's when my dad died. No friends, no family, crappy job, and not enough money to dig myself out of the hell I had co-created/found myself in.

During that time I ended up writing three books and getting them published, got a better job, with better pay, bought a (verrrry used, but nice) car, sold a LOT of books, and rented a room. Slowly, and painfully I dragged myself along every day. When I say I know what you must be feeling right now, I am fairly certain I can say that with accuracy. As to why bad things happen to good people? because there are a-------s (jerks, idiots, skxawngs, people filled with anger and insecurity) in the world. There are real jack-asses in the world, and even nice people can do a lot of damage, on purpose, or by accident. Right now you have to be strong--there is no other way. If you have friends (real friends) they can help a little ("tiny bit," may not seem like enough right now). If you don't, well hang out here. Sometimes we just need someone around--someone to hear us, or someone we can listen to, and forget how horrible our lives are for a while. This is why people love the television so much. It is a great way to avoid thinking of how crappy their lives are.

If you need to rant, you have come to the right place. If you need support, well you have picked a good group of people to at least listen. But you are going to have to get up every day and face down any ayvrrtep (demons) you have to. If you have a laptop, keep it nearby, and pop in here for a laugh or a good argument about who would win in a fight: Toruk or Thanator (Palulukan), or some crappy jokes. But you have to get through this; stand on your own when you can, and lean on people when you need to. but make sure that every day you are one-step closer to what YOU want from life--even if it is a baby step. If you can make that promise to yourself, you should be back on your feet sooner than you can imagine "today." In the meantime, you have us, for what that's worth.

2022 update: Working on the new astrology book. "How to read tarot" books are on Amazon, if you are into that sort of thing.
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Txur’Itan

Quote from: Kxani Tsaheylu on February 09, 2010, 02:28:29 PM
You don't understand. I donät even have a family.

I know it may seem that way, that no one understands you; but I do know from personal experience, there is much more to life than internalising sadness, frustration, loss, or guilt in this world.  If you spend a great deal of your time dwelling on the loneliness, you won't escape it; and you must escape it, and I believe that you will. 

You have to know that outside of what you are feeling at this moment, there is so much more to your future than the loneliness, you can find friends, you can find love again, you can make a new family, you don't have to accept your fate, it is in your power to change it for the better.

Quote from: Kxani Tsaheylu on February 09, 2010, 02:28:29 PM
i have no one really, some friends but what can they do..??

Talk to you, listen to you, but you have to be willing to trust at least one of them, or you could not call him/her friend.

Quote from: Kaltxì Palulukan! on February 09, 2010, 08:38:37 PM
If I may weigh in on this...

I completely understand where you are. My father died few years back. This was right after I lost everything.

First 9/11 killed my candle manufacturing business. retailers panicked and stopped buying. I had two part-time employees. We were so small of a company that I could not afford months without orders. So I closed up shop, started painting addresses on curbs for houses, by donation. It didn't pay very well, and it was humiliating, but I was able to move in with some good friends who were dating. One month later "we" (ayoeng friends) found out one of them was was slamming enough heroin to kill an elephant. I lost her, and my other friend, and my place to live. I had to move into a rental car--for 2 years. It was just supposed to be a month--really. That's when my dad died. No friends, no family, crappy job, and not enough money to dig myself out of the hell I had co-created/found myself in.

During that time I ended up writing three books and getting them published, got a better job, with better pay, bought a (verrrry used, but nice) car, sold a LOT of books, and rented a room. Slowly, and painfully I dragged myself along every day. When I say I know what you must be feeling right now, I am fairly certain I can say that with accuracy. As to why bad things happen to good people? because there are a-------s (jerks, idiots, skxawngs, people filled with anger and insecurity) in the world. There are real jack-asses in the world, and even nice people can do a lot of damage, on purpose, or by accident. Right now you have to be strong--there is no other way. If you have friends (real friends) they can help a little ("tiny bit," may not seem like enough right now). If you don't, well hang out here. Sometimes we just need someone around--someone to hear us, or someone we can listen to, and forget how horrible our lives are for a while. This is why people love the television so much. It is a great way to avoid thinking of how crappy their lives are.

If you need to rant, you have come to the right place. If you need support, well you have picked a good group of people to at least listen. But you are going to have to get up every day and face down any ayvrrtep (demons) you have to. If you have a laptop, keep it nearby, and pop in here for a laugh or a good argument about who would win in a fight: Toruk or Thanator (Palulukan), or some crappy jokes. But you have to get through this; stand on your own when you can, and lean on people when you need to. but make sure that every day you are one-step closer to what YOU want from life--even if it is a baby step. If you can make that promise to yourself, you should be back on your feet sooner than you can imagine "today." In the meantime, you have us, for what that's worth.


See - one friend is listening already! =)
私は太った男だ。


Kxani

Just wanted to thank you all for being so wonderful when pain is strong. Really thank you all, you guys friendlyness can make me cry!
I dunno what more to say, this is what happened since last..

Got my self a wonderful new boyfriend, he's as big avatar geek as I am and he looks fantastic! we look quite the same actually, both in the same militairy-avatar style and Tsaheylu braid on our backs hahaha XD he's awsome!

I Live at a friends place since she is so wonderful and I anjoy my work. I feel better thanks  much to you all and my IRL friends and Fredrick <3
Dunni how much I can thank you! May Eywa be with you all!

Swizaw Nguway

Glad to know that it worked out in the end for you

Robert Nantangä Tirea

Humans have an amazing ability called hope. A small amount of hope can do wonders for your outlook on life. It can be hard, because when you try to have hope and then it's crussed it feels betraying and painful to put your emotional security on the line. But hope is always there and waiting for you to believe in it. It's found in counting blessings, in showing love, and sharing trust. And when you're willing to have and nurute hope it rewards you by changing your vision and experiences in life. Like Nìwotxkrr said, it's about being positive. No matter how dark my day gets, I always look forward to tomorrow. Tomorrow is your chance to make things better, get things right.

That's not to belittle hardship however. Some times things ARE overwhelming, and you just have to take some time to yourself to express and experience your emotions and sort them out. That's where friends come in... they're there so you can be fragile and scared and broken at times but stay protected, they're your safe place for the times when it's too hard to have hope.

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Shoot, I don't even know what to say. Just remember that we're all here for you.

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Taronyu Ayunilyä Alahe

Quote from: Robert Nantangä Tirea on February 12, 2010, 08:55:22 AM
Humans have an amazing ability called hope.

^
L explains it all

I mean, some people get depressed after some small stuffs but as you see everything happening has a meaning and if you get depressed, you'll go mad and THAT will make your life worse. So good luck to everyone out there who are facing problems every single day..

(Sorry for the random post)
ke plltxe ngeyä kawng tìrey lu

Kxani


Letxuma Swizaw

#15
sorry it took so long to return the favor. ;) but everyone here is family and i hate to see a tsmuke in pain. you made my life alittle brighter so the least we can do is return it. ;D

Glad to see that someone tangible is there to help though.
Oe Skxawnghu längu.

Kìrìstìyä tìpe'unri a kifkeyit kelor kawngsì tsere'a, tsafpìlfya kifkeyit tsafya txolängula.

Join our real life tribe! here(And yes, it will be a real tribe in the real world, not a role play tribe)

Kxani

You gus make me so happy. It's all true love and bonding <3
Thanks wonderful peoples!

MOUNTAINBANSHEE

This is the perfect place for when your down...



                                                               ...except when you are guilty about doing something wrong on the website (dosent happen much)
join our real life tribe! here(And yes, it will be a real tribe in the real world, not a role play tribe)

Taronyu Ayunilyä Alahe

Quote from: Kxani Tsaheylu on February 13, 2010, 02:46:06 PM
Still  thanks to all of you <3

>< no problem.. tho I see your problem is solved alreadyy... :)
ke plltxe ngeyä kawng tìrey lu

MOUNTAINBANSHEE

join our real life tribe! here(And yes, it will be a real tribe in the real world, not a role play tribe)