The most peaceful societies

[Redpaintednavi]

Though this subject would fit in here in this section.

There are some societies out there in the world that actually manages to live rather peaceful and conflict free lives. They have invented different methods to handle both internal and external conflicts and they have created working stratgies to uphold harmony without resorting to violence. Also they have formed ideologies that encourages them to handle problems in a peaceful way.

Many of these societies have common traits like relatively small scale of societies, relative equality between men and women, relatively mild ways to raise children (without slapping or psychological terror).
Most of these are indigenous, non western societies.

Out of the 25 most peaceful societies there are three with western, Christian roots. Sadly enough it is those three that treat their children worst, regularely spanking them and scolding them. It is also these three that probably show most inequality between men and women.
The rest are non western, non Christians that treat their children better.

Some of these peoples are hunter gatherers, others are farmers. They are spread round the whole world, Africa, the Americas, Asia, Oceania. Not so much in Europe.

Many of these societies are threatened by modern civilisations in different ways, their cultures are threatened, their lifestyle, their lands.

You can read more about them here:

Encyclopedia of peaceful societies
http://www.peacefulsocieties.org/

[Esmond]

Actually, as an Asian (Chinese Malaysia), I'd say that some extent of "terror" is required to instill some discipline in a child. I'm not into violent abuse and all because that's not how I was brought up but when I was a child, I would avoid getting into trouble because I was afraid I might make my dad angry. But as much as I feared him, I loved him because he showed love. As I grew up, that fear turned into respect and I was avoiding getting into trouble because I respected and loved my family.

As an adult now, they won't hit me with a cane anymore for my mistakes but I still be my best.

So I believe that as much as you must love your child, you must also teach discipline and morality. If not you'll end up with a spoiled child.

[Redpaintednavi]

Still these peaceful societies have for long time managed to raise their kids with other methods than slapping, and still they have much less problems with young people than many places where children are punished with violence.

Also in some countries, like Sweden, slapping children is today forbidden, and these children are not worse than children in most other countries. On the contrary, Sweden, for example, is a relatively peaceful and affluent society.

[Esmond]

My dad has never slapped me before. I really don't know how a child feels to be slapped by their parents. I've only been canned before but it was very rare.

[Nantxe'lan]

Well corporal punishment seems to be a quite delicate topic...
face slapping is IMO something totally useless. not only does it hurt, it is also ignominious for the child. and as far as i can judge this is what screws up a child. if you get them the feeling to be less worth than you, they'll start rebelling.
i must say my knowledge about this topic is limited to my two cousins which i helped to raise to some degree and my own experiences as a child, but as far as i can judge the best way to avoid trouble is to warn them. show them, that they earn your respect as long as they respect you but make clear what happens if they cross the line. similar to waht Esmond said: respect is the key. on BOTH sides. if they know what happen, they'll avoid it. but if they actually try to test how far they can go, stay true to your word. i.e. if a child really crosses the line and all warning fails, some slaps to the bottom with pants still up are IMO ok. it doesn't hurt at all if they sitll wear pants. of course they will propably start to cry, but it is more the fact that they are too surprised that you actually DO it.
but it gets a bit more delicate, when they still don't stop. than perhaps some slaps to the bottom with pants down.

perhaps use a little "symbol" can increase the chance they stop early. my mother always used a wooden cooking spoon. she actually swung it only by turning her wrist, so it wasn't that painfull even with pants down. but the spoon was a sign to me. if she took the spoon out, i knew i was about to cross a line, and i stopped. atleast mostly.

corporal punishment in a VERY small scale is OK, in my oppinion, when you keep in mind what effect it has. it is not about actually hurt a child. its about to draw a line.
but there are so many ways to punish a child without corporal punishment, it's almost funny.

[Letxuma Swizaw]

It's very dependent on the main cultural background IMO. Me being an taoist growing up in a christian society made me very belligerent towards any type of corporal punishment. I liked to make myself a victim because the culture i was in conflicted with my own thoughts. That being said if I was a "good christian boy" i would have accepted my punishments more and maybe garnered more respect for my parents considering that i would have understood my punishments more thoroughly. Basically the childs thought process is the difference between being punished and being beat.