An excerpt from my story "The Gatekeeper" in Na'vi.

[ShadowMainZERO]

This is about half of the first chapter of the prologue. I would have done the entire chapter but it might not be possible atm.

    Ayoengyä vur sngä'i fa teng 'evengan; nítxan sngä'i. Poru syaw Ein Hunter.  Ein atsamsiyu talun po kawkrr tamul neto ftu wem. Po nawm sí txur! Po tarmeng na prrte'pxayturu teri poyä numtseng slä po kawkrr tamíkin futa aytute namew.

[ShadowMainZERO]

Can somebody check this please? I would really like to know if I got it right.

[Carborundum]

Ayoengyä vur sngä'i fa teng 'evengan; nítxan sngä'i.

teng: adj. same, equal
I assume this is meant to be "normal". An appropriate usage, I'd say. However, you must use -a- to attribute it to a noun.
If teng does indeed mean "normal", what is sngä'i doing in the next part? Nítxan sngä'i means "very begin", or something.

Poru syaw Ein Hunter.  Ein atsamsiyu talun po kawkrr tamul neto ftu wem.

*Atsamsiyu? Is that meant to be an adjective? Just use Ein lu tsamsiyu instead (or  Ein lamu tsamsiyu, see next comment).
Tamul: I see what you're trying to do with the tense here, and it's a bit weird, to be honest. The way it is now the sentence reads: "Ein is a warrior because he never backed down...". Put the <am> in lu instead, and it will be understood in tul.

Po nawm sí txur!

This needs a lu to work.

Po tarmeng na prrte'pxayturu teri poyä numtseng slä po kawkrr tamíkin futa aytute namew

*t<arm>eng? Really? Only verbs get infixes, as I'm sure you are aware.
Prrte'pxayturu. Er... OK then.
Poyä --> Peyä.
*T<am>íkin. No.
Futa is used if a clause is the direct object of a transitive verb.
*Aytute --> Aysute.
Namew. No tense infix necessary. It's still understood from the first time you used it. This is true for both of the other times you've used it too, only those had some more pressing problems.

All in all, you've got some work to do here. First and foremost, I have to say that I am very impressed that you managed to write all this without using lu a single time! The copula is a pretty central part of most languages, Na'vi included.

[ShadowMainZERO]

A: How did I forget lu?
B: I completely forgot that only verbs get infixes. (...)
C: i feel like a skxawng.
D: What is wrong with prrte' pxayturu? That's the closest I could get to "popular".

[Carborundum]

D: What is wrong with prrte' pxayturu? That's the closest I could get to "popular".

Nothing's wrong with it. I certainly can't come up with a better alternative. It's just such a strange construction I felt the need to comment.

[ShadowMainZERO]

Okay. I seriously have a lot of work to do. I'm going to wait for a bigger dictionary before I try anything else with this though.

EDIT: By the way, that second sngä'i was a typo. I was kind of rushing and chose the wrong word.