Stargate quote help

[Vawm tsamsiyu]

I want to say a phrase from the ark of truth "have mercy, I was blind but now I see" I think this has the same meaning
Oeru txoa livu. Oe lamu Kakrel, ngian oe tsun kame

(I remember watching Jake and grace trying to get the na'vi to evacuate hometree and wondering if this would have went better, he could then have explained that he was lied to by the rda people and want to help)

if I made any mistakes feel free to call me a skxawng

[P.A.'li makto]

Hi!
We never call each other a skxawng.

[Hawnuyu atxen]

Kaltxì!

Your solution is nearly ok, but you have to add <iv> to kame, since it's after a modal.
You might want to add set, and change ngian to slä in the second part of the sentence, so:

Oeru txoa livu, oe lamu kakrel, slä oe tsun kivame set.

You also can avoid repeating "oe" by using "-ri" (the topical marker) on the first one (it defines that you're speaking about "oe"):

Oeri txoa livu, lamu kakrel, slä tsun kivame set.

[Kì'eyawn]

Edit: I was ninja'd by Hawnuyu atxen.  Here's what i wrote, in any case.

Kaltxì, ma Vawm tsamsiyu.  'Awpo a new nivume ke lu skxawng kawkrr.

A couple things.  

First, i would say lalmu, because you were blind, but that has ended.  You also might add the pejorative infix in there, if you'd like to emphasize that you're unhappy about your former blindness.  Also—and this is just my personal preference–i'd probably put "blind" at the head of the phrase.

Second, i personally would have used slä.  I'm a little shaky on the use of ngian only because i'm a stickler for the proper use of "however" in English, and i'm not entirely sure on its proper grammar in Na'vi.

Third, i think you'd probably be okay with just kame by itself, but if you want tsun in there then you need to add the subjunctive <iv> to kame because of the modal verb.  And the word for "now" is set.  Also, since oe is the subject in both clauses, you can drop it in the second, if you like.  So, putting all that together,

Oeru txoa livu.  Kakrel oe lalmängu, slä tsun [oe] kivame set.

[kewnya txamew'itan]

double ninja'd

I want to say a phrase from the ark of truth "have mercy, I was blind but now I see" I think this has the same meaning
Oeru txoa livu. Oe lamu Kakrel, ngian oe tsun kame

k<iv>ame remember that modals require a subjunctive.

That said I'd probably drop the tsun, the contrast with being blind implies it.

Lastly, I don't know whether kakrel only refers to not being able to tse'a or whether it can also refer to not being able to kame.

And you'll want a set to say "now"

Also, in the ark of truth, are they being literal or metaphorical? If metaphorical then kame would be right (or possibly tslam) but kakrel might not be.

And we're all skxawngs learning this language, we all make mistakes.

You also can avoid repeating "oe" by using "-ri" (the topical marker) on the first one (it defines that you're speaking about "oe"):

Oeri txoa livu, lamu kakrel, slä tsun kivame set.

Don't open that can of worms, the second oe can be dropped without -ri from context, once a subject is established it, like the topic is assumed until a new one is stated.

As for slä/ngian I see that as primarily a stylistic decision, in English for example it's primarily a prescriptivist/descriptivist (although that's more black and white than it actually is) divide and I dare say it could be similar in na'vi, having been brought up in a middle ground family where distinctions were taught to be fuzzy and vary depending on context, would view either as acceptable here although however/ngian sounds a bit less natural to my ear.

[Vawm tsamsiyu]

Yes it was metephorical the ark made the 2nd highest villan realize he was blindly following false gods and doing evil, and then he said "have mercy I was blind but now I see"

So I should say
Oeri txoa livu, lamu kakrel, slä tsun kivame set.
Or drop the tsun and use set
Oeri txoa livu, lamu kakrel, slä kivame set.
Or
Oe txoa livu, lamu kakrel, slä tsun kivame set.

I'd rather keep it shorter and I used tsun because I forgot about set.   

[Kì'eyawn]

Kaltxì ma Vawm tsamsiyu.  I agree with ke meoauniaea, that using the topical introduces a whole new layer of complexity that isn't needed–in which case, you need oeru txoa livu.  And you only need k<iv>ame if you use tsun.  So, if you're going for short, sweet, and to the point, i would say

Oeru txoa livu.  Oe lamu kakrel, slä kame set.

[kewnya txamew'itan]

Kaltxì ma Vawm tsamsiyu.  I agree with ke meoauniaea, that using the topical introduces a whole new layer of complexity that isn't needed–in which case, you need oeru txoa livu.  And you only need k<iv>ame if you use tsun.  So, if you're going for short, sweet, and to the point, i would say

Oeru txoa livu.  Oe lamu kakrel, slä kame set.

Irayo for pointing that out, I was unclear, the -ri wasn't needed, but if it wasn't used -ru was needed and you'd need the first oe (possibly, I believe that in some languages an unspecified topic is believed to be the speaker which given how speaker centric the effectuals are is plausible).

Also, oe lolu kakrel is probably better than oe lamu kakrel. The perfective aspect highlights that the blindness is over which in this quote is more important than that the blindness happened in the past.

[Kì'eyawn]

...Also, oe lolu kakrel is probably better than oe lamu kakrel. The perfective aspect highlights that the blindness is over which in this quote is more important than that the blindness happened in the past.

In my original post i pushed for Kakrel lalmängu oe, but since Vawm tsamsiyu wanted "short and sweet" and had gone with lamu, i stuck with that in my last post.  But yes, oe mllte, the perfective would be good here.

[kewnya txamew'itan]

<alm> would be pushing it a bit too far back but <ol> keeps it pretty short.